Inspiration was beginning to wane at the Epiphany Café and I was afraid I would have to pack up my laptop and see my family, but then I saw that I was nominated for the Sunshine Award. You might think it odd that such a dark blog as The Narrative Imperative be nominated for such a luminous honor. I did, until I considered that the nominator was Jodi Lobozzo Aman, who writes the relentlessly sunshiny, Heal Now and Forever be at Peace… She’s another therapist, you see, and, as such, is committed to rooting out any goodness she can find in things. She must have dug deep to find it here.
One of the requirements is, if you want to accept the Sunshine Award, you have to answer ten questions. So, here is goes:
- What are your favorite things to do?
This one is easy. I like to sit on my sagging couch, eat potato chips, and get fatter. I prefer ridges to plain. Kettle chips are so loud I can’t hear the TV. Oh, and I like them cold, so I keep them in the freezer. Dip is unnecessary.
- Where would you most like to travel to?
Right now, I never want to leave the Epiphany Café, except maybe to find another Epiphany Café somewhere else, but what’s the point of that?
- Who would you most like to meet who is still living?
Yeah, there is someone, she’s another fictional character who wrote a blog, KristanAC the ManiAC. I want to ask her how she was able to retire. My author keeps terrorizing me to keep writing or die.
- Who would you most like to meet who has passed away?
I’d like to see my dear deceased son, Paul. I’d like to ask him how come he spread that rumor that I was abusive. I’d like to punch him in the mouth.
- What do you think is the hardest thing to do?
To be honest, the hardest thing to do is to be honest.
- What is your favorite non-alcoholic drink?
I’m on my sixth double whole milk mocha cappuccino at this cafe, so it would have to be that.
- What is your favorite charity?
Buy me a seventh double whole milk mocha cappuccino to sponsor more posts like these.
- What are you proud of?
People have a hard time crowing about their achievements, so they will often play modest when they really aren’t. When you ask me what I am most proud of, I am proud to say that when I say nothing, I’m being honest.
- What ambition do you still have?
I’d like to figure out whether I want to live or die and stop wanting both at the same time.
- What is your favorite flower?
The flower of the potato plant; it’s not much to look at, but it has been involved in feeding millions.
The second requirement of the Sunshine award is that I nominate 10-12 other blogs, making it a kind of blogging Ponzi scheme. At the risk of offending everyone, both those I nominate and those I don’t; the envelope please:
We fictional characters have to stick together, so I hereby nominate Caddie Emerging, Shade of the Morning Sun, and KristanAC the ManiAC. Aurora Morealist deserves the award for sheer volume, if nothing else, but there’s a lot else. The Literary Man merits it for being, well, literary. Send some money for dental care to the Brit Lit Chick author of 3am and Still None the Wiser and she might write more often.
If you like to think deep, deep thoughts, then read Now Without Hesitation and think. If you’re curious about the life of an expatriate American family in Russia, check out the wide-eyed Wandering Ellmanns. If your wandering is more domestic, then there’s Corning NY Step by Step.
If you want reasons not to tip your barista, as I do, then check out Meatiocrity, but don’t blame me if there’s dark matter in your mocha.
That’s fourteen, but we therapists don’t count. We don’t know how to count, I mean.